History and Observance of Memorial Day

Like many of you, I grew up not really understanding the true meaning of Memorial Day. I wouldn't fault my parents, more society and what the holiday has come to mean to the average American. With many Veterans in my extended and immediate family, we were taught to respect the military--even before I married an active duty soldier. I, personally, have always gotten very emotional at the thought of someone losing his or her loved one in defense of our nation.  This being said, I can honestly say that I had no clue that Memorial Day was strictly reserved for honoring those who had fallen in the line of duty. I thought it was a day to honor all those who had passed from this life.  Even with that misconception, I am embarrassed to say that Memorial Day usually meant a day for a BBQ, as BBQ's are a pretty big deal in my family,  we know how to BBQ pretty darn well.

Things tend to take on a different meaning when they become more personal. My first step towards a more respectful Memorial Day came when I got to visit ground zero, not even a year after the twin tours had fallen. The love and support sent to those who had lost their lives is unspeakable. As we walked through the wreckage and platforms that had been built and looked over the big empty hole that was so out of place, not one person spoke a word. As strangers, we would meet eyes and exchange a look of complete remorse. There was not one dry eye as we walked away with a new sense of feeling of what it really means to be American. I lived in New York a few years later, and those who had experienced the reality of 9/11 have not forgotten.

Ground Zero

Another step came when I had the opportunity to visit the Normandy Beaches in Northern France when I lived there. The videos and memorials made me sob like a baby. The courage and valor of the men from WWII astound me. The families they left behind were just as strong. Visiting those graves was extremely humbling.  The respect the French people had for these Americans who fought for their freedom made me start to wonder if perhaps America could learn a thing or two about honor and respect.

Normandy Beaches Cemetery

My last step was when I met my husband's family for the first time. We had decided that we would visit his family over Memorial Day weekend for a few reasons. First, he had time off of school and I had time off of work, and second, his entire family gathered in remembrance of their father/husband/grandfather who had passed away over 10 years ago. I watched in reverent silence as we went to the grave site of his father. Each child paid their respects, the grandchildren were told stories and were taught to observe their grandfather's memory. Some tears were shed, but mainly laughter as memories were shared.  I watched as a tragic event pulled this family closer and closer each year. I came to truly understand the benefits of what really honoring someone who has died can be to the living.

This brings us to present day. I am sure your news feeds on Facebook, like mine, have been flooded with pictures and quotes of what Memorial Day is really about. It has made me stop and reflect on what the day means to me. Instead of just posting a quote, I wanted to really understand what it means to observe Memorial Day. I asked my husband if he knew the history of Memorial Day. He said he had recently read an article about a small little town who claimed to have started it all. That got me thinking and I did my own research, online, of course. I stumbled upon this website which some of you may have already found. The history is pretty detailed and seems to be pretty legit. The website talks about how many cities claim to have started this tradition. Other documentation states that women's groups can take the credit because they started the practice of decorating the graves of those who had fallen during the Civil War.  Memorial Day originally was May 5 but was then changed in 1868 to May 30, with New York being the first state to officially recognize it as a holiday in 1873.  By 1890 all of the northern states recognized it as a state holiday. The southern states still chose to honor their dead on another day. It wasn't until after World War I that Memorial Day was a time to remember all those who had died in the line of duty, not just those who had died in the civil war.

Civil War

Today almost all states recognize Memorial Day on the last Monday in May in compliance with the National Holiday Act of 1971 which ensures a three-day weekend for all federal Holidays. Some people believe that this is part of the disintegration of what has now become a holiday of "the start of summer".  To quote the VWF (Veterans of Foreign Wars), "Changing the date merely to create three-day weekends has undermined the very meaning of the day. No doubt, this has contributed greatly to the general public's nonchalant observance of Memorial Day."  There are some who believe strongly the date the should be changed back to May 30, no matter what day it lands on.

After reading and researching so much about Memorial Day, I have now pledged to treat each Memorial Day with the proper observance that it deserves. I do not have a problem with get-togethers and BBQ's.  As I mentioned with my husband's family, I found that the very act of a family BBQ and visiting their loved one's grave was very moving and respectful. However, not everyone has someone specific to remember. In that case I suggest the following things, also taken from the same website.

• Visiting cemeteries and placing flags/flowers or other respectful items by fallen soldiers graves.
• Visiting Memorials ( I personally think Ground Zero would be very appropriate)
• Flying the U.S. Flag half-staff until noon
• Flying the 'POW/MIA Flag' as well (Section 1082 of the 1998 Defense Authorization Act)
• Participating in a "National Moment of Remembrance": at 3 p.m. to pause and think upon the true meaning of the day, and for Taps to be played.
• Renewing a pledge to aid the widows, widowers, and orphans of our fallen dead and to aid the disabled veterans.

I would add a couple more by saying:

• Correctly teach our children and family members what the holiday represents and how to properly observe it.
• Another fun tradition might be doing some of the things they did in the past. At one point, according the same website, women used to wear red poppies in response to Moina Michael's poem:
  

  

  "We cherish too, the Poppy red
  That grows on fields where valor led,
  It seems to signal to the skies
  That blood of heroes never dies." 

• Create a family tradition that you can reasonably continue each year. Even if it just is a family BBQ, while pausing at 3p.m. to think about those that have given the ultimate sacrifice.
• Read stories of those who have lost someone. They can be very touching and uplifting, such as this one
• But most importantly, BE AWARE, not just of your own situation, but those around you. You might find someone who is having to spend Memorial Day alone, and it may be one of the worst days of the year for them.

Whatever you may choose to do for your Memorial Day this year, I hope that you really consider the history and what it really means to observe it, whether you are connected to the military or not. We should all be grateful for those who have been brave enough to go before us and defend our country.

2012

Proud to be an American

The 4th of July has always been my favorite holiday. I really am not sure when this happened. Maybe it's because we have a huge celebration where I grew up and people camp out over night just to get good seats for the parade.  It was also all about the fireworks. We would have our own celebration, but nothing was as cool as climbing up on the roof to watch the big firework show put on by the city.  I've celebrated the 4th in lots of different places. A small no-where town in Montana, Wyoming--where fireworks are legal all year round, New York City--that was pretty fun, Paris--where homemade rootbeer was not well received and people took pictures of us playing baseball--like we were some sort of novelty (I guess we were), but this is the first time I've ever had the honor of celebrating it on a Military post.

I claim it is an honor because no where else is there the deep rooted celebrating that comes from those who really understand what it means to live in a free country. It's one thing to wear red-white and blue and cheer at the parade, or even just show up for the fireworks, but it's a whole other story when the celebration includes a slideshow of those local soldiers who have given their lives in the name of freedom.  It hits home in a whole new way.

Fort Rucker's celebration was no different than most any other celebration that I had been to, at first glance. It had the fairs and booths that I've seen in several places, however the vendors were mainly food. What I love going to little "street" fairs for are the boutique type stuff that aren't usually in stores. At this fair I didn't really see anything that caught my attention. The food, however, was another story.

Considering this was my first festival/fair/celebration type thing that I have been to since moving to the south, I was excited to see what they might have us. My husband and I both decided that we were going to eat at the festival and therefore planned ahead and brought cash. (Because we brought cash, I have no idea if any of the places accepted other forms of payment. We stopped at the alcohol store-bought a candy bar--and got cash back).  These are the types of foods we found.

I'm eating the deep fried oreo here. It was pretty good, except that it was really dry.  Still needs a glass of milk. ;) Hubby go the snickers and we both liked it better. Oreos were $2 and Snickers were $3

I think my favorite part of this was the fact that they clarified that it was on a stick. However, I'm sure you can see my feelings towards this one. Hubby's thoughts : "it taste like chicken, only more rubbery." Yeeeaah...cause that just sounds amazing.  Fried Alligator on a stick: $6

After the fair and "dinner" we went and looked at all the different aircrafts they have here at Fort Rucker. It was pretty cool, but lines were longer than we wanted to wait and I had already seen most of them up close. Here are a few of the helicopters that I captured.

Chinook

This one seems to be a Lakota.

This one here is the Apache.

It was pretty cool, they let you climb inside and everything. Since I had already done that at a Family Day when Hubs was in the National Guard, I didn't really feel the need to do it again.

Here are a couple pictures of myself in a Blackhawk durning the family day last summer.

The highlight of the night however, was the concert given right before the fireworks. It was a blast. Normally they just have the Army band play, but this year they brought in Gary Sinise and the Lt. Dan Band. They were actually pretty cool. Gary played the guitar and he had 3 or 4 different singers. They did a bunch of cover songs and did a good job at getting the audience to participate. We were sitting in the middle and I felt like we had pretty good seats. Because of all the people, the bugs weren't really a problem. My man and I had a really good time and the families we were with. After dark they had people selling glow sticks and such and I jumped on that band wagon real' quick.

Gary Sinise (in the white shirt in the back) and his Lt. Dan Band.



Since we had walked, we decided to leave the concert a little early (since we could still hear it from pretty much anywhere) to start walking back. Our plan was to walk until we heard the fireworks, and then we'd just plop ourselves down and watch the show wherever we were. As it turns out, our plan worked out perfectly and we ended up watching the show on the field in between the golf course and the concert. There were probably only 4 or 5 other groups watching where we were, so it was really easy to feel in your own little world.  Apparently Fort Rucker is supposed to have one of the better fireworks show in the area, and I think they did a really good job. Neither my husband or I are photographers and we just had our phones and cheap cameras for pictures, we didn't get any really good pictures of the fireworks. Here is the only one I have that turned out. 

Fireworks on Fort Rucker. 

All in all, I think that Fort Rucker did a great job at celebrating our Independence. Considering that it's a really small post in an area that is not much bigger, I think they pulled it off.  The festivities went from 4:00pm to around 10:00 or 11:00pm (1600-2300).  We got there around 5:30 or 6 and I kind of wished we had more time.  They also had a huge play area for kids with blow up toys and whatnot. We didn't make it over there at all. 

I was happy and proud to be a part of Fort Rucker's celebration and join in on the chorus; "I'm proud to be an American!"

Army Family Team Building and some Army culture.

So I went to my first AFTB (because everything is an acronym here) meeting last night.  I was actually really excited for it, besides the fact that it went from 5:00-8:30pm. I found out about it at the almost FRG meeting we had with Hubby's company commanders the other night. Here you can learn all you need to know to be an Army wife. Ok, so I doubt that is their moto, but it's how I see it, since I know next to nothing. There are three different levels and they teach each level in a group of classes. For example the level II class that I'm taking is June 6, 7, 9 and 13 all from 5:00-8:30pm.  From what I have learned at Ft. Rucker, you can take the classes out of order and if you go through them all, including the instructor training, you can teach. That sounds interesting to me, I think I'd like to make that a goal.

I've listed all the levels and classes you can take at the bottom of the page.

So, funny story about Army Culture. I learned, with some embarrassment, that when the flag is raised or retreated each day there is a song played and all those outside stop and face the flag-if you know where it is- and put your hand over your heart or show respect or whatever. How did I learn this? By watching everyone around me.

I had gotten lost on my way to the class that night, and arrived at building 5700 right at 5:00. I was running through the parking lot, until I realized that EVERYONE around me was standing still. I mean people had gotten out of their cars on the road. It seemed to be a big deal. I felt so stupid. lol. Oh, dear. It felt like one of those moments when you didn't realize someone was giving a prayer and you're still talking at full volume. So I looked around a copied what everyone else did. Oops. Later I found out there was another wife who was watching ME to see what to do. HAHA! Little did she know. What surprised me was that her husband had been in the army for 23 years. I guess there's a first time for everything.

The classes I took last night were, 2.8 Personal Conflict Management, 2.7 Team Dynamics, and 2.2 Personal Time Management, in that order. I thought it was really interesting that they didn't teach them in order. I don't know if they just assign the classes out to different wives and then it's just who can teach what when. I don't understand their method. However, like everything else in the Army, it's a very structured and organized class. They give you this big fat binder with all the worksheets and handouts for the entire "level II" course. The teachers have a very scripted text they are supposed to teach from. Although, both of the teachers that taught last night added in their own personalities to add to the content. It was great.


My Review of the classes so far: Excellent.  The class was very small, 8 woman. Most of us were new to the Army life. The discussions were intelligent and helpful. I had taken some organizational behavior classes in college and found the material a lot the same, so I felt I knew a lot of the information presented, but it was interesting none-the-less. It did seem as if some girl drama could happen very easily, so I guess just keep that in mind if you like to avoid it or get in the middle of it.


List of classes available to take:

Level I:
1.1 Expectations & Impact of the Mission on Family Life
1.2 Military Acronyms and Terms (I feel like I need to take this class 5 times)
1.3 The Chain of Command
1.4 Introduction to Military Customs and Courtesies
1.5 Basic Military Benefits and Entitlements
1.6 Introduction to Military and Civilian Community Resources
1.7 Introduction to Family Readiness Groups (FRG)
1.8 Supporting Your Child's Education
1.9 Introduction to Family Financial Readiness
1.10 Basic Problem Solving

Level II
2.1 Communication
2.2 Personal Time Management
2.3 Stress Management
2.4 Acknowledging Change
2.5 Exploring Personality Traits
2.6 Enhancing Personal Relationships
2.7 Team Dynamics
2.8 Personal Conflict Management
2.9 Creative Problem Solving
2.10 Traditions, Customs, Courtesies & Protocol
2.11 Crisis and Coping
2.12 The Volunteer Experience
2.13 FRG's & The Deployment Cycle
2.14 Intro to Leadership

Level III
3.1 Communication Skills For Leaders
3.2 Understanding Needs
3.3 Leadership Styles
3.4 Building Cohesive Teams
3.5 Managing Group Conflict
3.6 Leader Assisted Problem Solving
3.7 Delegation For Leaders
3.8 Meeting Management
3.9 Coaching and Mentoring
3.10 Family Readiness Group Leadership

And then they also have a bunch of additional training that you can take if you'd like to go further with it:

Instructor Training

Master Training

Core Training

FRG Power Training

Rucker Movie Theater

Date nights are always a good idea. Most girls like the idea of getting dressed up for the evening and going out to do something. For me, this meant I showered, put on a bra and actually put on some make-up. :)

Tonight my hubby took me on a date.  First we stopped by the Allen Heights Club House for their summer pool party for dinner and to enter in for some door prizes. We didn't really have time to cook dinner before the movie started, so we opted for "free food" advertised on the neighborhood newsletter.

We didn't really stay for the "bash", but they had lots of little games for kids. Crafts and carnival type stuff. They also had little handouts, sunscreen, pens and chap-stick--things like that. Of course the pool was open, and that seemed to be the main event (since it was like 800 degrees out).

Hubs and I got a couple dogs and a hamburger, some chips and some capri sun's and that was dinner. We didn't really take the time to meet anyone, but it seemed to be a nice gathering if that was your goal. However, I will say it was geared mostly towards those with families.

Next we went to see a movie on post. We were pretty excited to see if it was a good deal or not. Movies in Utah were getting close to $20 for the two of us to go. In New York, 5 years ago when I lived there, it was about $22 for two people to go to the movies.

On post they have one movie theater and it shows one movie at a time. They change the movie often, sometimes daily. They also change what type of movie they have. For example some of the movies that have played in the past week or so we've been here have been: "Scream 4", "Source Code", "Transformers  3" (I think), and tonight was "Rio".

We got to the movie theater just before it was suppose to start and there was a line out the door. We were nervous at first because we had no clue what to expect. (Does it sell out?) Once we were in line, we realized the cashier is actually at the door (explaining the line out the door) and you pay for your tickets to the person who is taking the tickets, in fact I'm pretty sure there weren't any tickets at all. Cash or Check only. No credit cards.

Good news were the prices:

Adults (which include those 12 years and older): $4.50
Children (4-11): $2.50
Children 3 and under are free.

Hubby and myself: a total of $9.00
He did have to show his Military ID at the door, but I didn't. I am assuming then, that the movies are for guests as well.

Because of the nature of the film, there were a bunch of families there. Why not? It's a great, inexpensive way to take your family out. I didn't find the children distracting from the movie at all, but I think it's funny/cute when kids comment on the movie.

I decided I wanted some chocolate and hubby never argues with chocolate, so we got in the even longer line for the snacks. This was my one complaint of the night. The line took FOREVER! They, also, only have one cashier and she took her sweet time ringing up everyone. However, we were still in our seats by the time the movie actually started (we missed the previews though).

The actual movie theater was nice. Old, but nice. It had a huge screen and it seemed to be one of those theaters where there really isn't a bad seat. We sat on the end on the right hand section. So we were still pretty central, I thought our seats were great.  The seats themselves were actually pretty comfortable, I wasn't expecting that. However, Hubby was disappointed that the armrests didn't move.

The movie "Rio" itself, we thought was OK. There were no spectacular moments, no memorable characters. In fact the movie was over all a solid "C". The music was ok, the storyline had great potential, (so did the music for that matter--who doesn't like salsa?) but the writing just wasn't up to par. I think it was one of those movies that they show all the good moments in the previews. Sad.

We parked on the North side (if I have my directions straight), and we just exited the theater straight into the parking lot. Parking was easy and convenient.

The movie started at 7:00pm (19:00), which was great for us, but might be a little late for children who have early bed-times. That would be up to parents.

My review of the night: Showering was worth it.

Fort Rucker, Al--Welcome to the South

I hate spiders. I hate everything that has to do with them. Actually let me be so much more specific. I am TERRIFIED of them. I wake up with nightmares just by having a conversation about them (I am now jinxing myself).

Fort Rucker is full of bugs. and spiders. and snakes. and alligators. and other things.

favorite quote from the FRG meeting last night "I was walking my dog and ran into a bore hog". I mean, that's fine. Why not?

These are some of the first things I heard when I found out we would be stationed here. Hubby is in flight school, so here we are. I cried our first day here.

because of a spider.

NOT FAIR! I wish I was one of those girls that could deal with anything. You know the ones who pick up snakes like it ain't no thang, my sister-in-law told me she used to have a housekeeper that HUNTED SNAKES!!! I told hubby I wanted that kind of housekeeper, he looked at me and said "we don't need a housekeeper". He missed the point. I'll clean the house, she can kill the spiders. and hunt the snakes

Day 2. Found a snake in our backyard. What the??? Welcome to the South. (enter snake hunting housekeeper please!!)

We have chosen to live on post and I am personally SUCH a fan of it so far. I love having everything so close. It really is like living in a gated community. It also reminds me of when I lived in New York and everything you could ever need/want in your life was in a 4 block radius.

I also love that I have friends (newly made friends) that live down the street or around the corner. (for killing spiders... lol).

But seriously here are some benefits that I found from living on post:

~The house was SPOTLESS. I mean not a spec of dirt anywhere. And they repaint the house for every new tenant.
~The water, power and all utilities were already turned on.
~When things break, they come fix them. Quickly. --Example: our air conditioner broke on the 1st of 2nd night we were here. They fixed it right away).
~They spray for bugs/spiders whatever, EVERY WEEK. Yup. I LOVE that.
~ They cut your grass and trim and prune.
Specific to Allen Heights (other places may have this too, but I don't know)
~They have two great storage units. One in the garage area and one out back. The one in the garage area is finished, with shelves. The one out back is unfinished (it scares me more).
~ They have room for two cars on the driveway.
~ The Club house is nice, the work out room is more than adequate and they have a play area for kids to be in with a big window while the parents work out. The pools is nice, with lap lanes, but it is not at roped off. If you want to swim laps, you might want to go when the pool isn't crowed. (Not sure when that is yet).

Here are some drawbacks to living on post.

~They take your entire housing allowance. Because Fort Rucker has so many Lts in school. It's a rumor that there are more of them than anything else. So we were told we are actually in enlisted housing. IF that's true, we are paying a lot for what we're getting.
~ You can save money by moving off post. We found places to rent between $400-$900. Well with-in our BAH.
~ While the houses are nice, they are very "cookie cutter".  However, they do allow you to paint, bang whatever hole you want in the walls and the like...as long as you patch up any hole you make.
~ All the rules that come with living on post. (And yes, there is a hand book)
~ Our house has someone RIGHT next to us. It's a duplex. However, noise is never an issue.

Well that's all for this post. Leave questions and I'll try to answer them--or at least find out the answer. I had so many when I moved here.

The front of our house

This is the garage storage unit

The backyard storage