the life I would have led.....

For those who actually follow this I'm sorry I haven't written in awhile. I was trying to decide what direction I wanted to take this blog. I never seem to think in present day...my thoughts are always 5 years down the road....which is great in some aspects, but in other ways it really sucks. I'm a planner. I have always been a planner. Knew what I wanted and how I was going to get there. I loved having my life completed worked out for the next 3 years or so...leaving a little room to wiggle for those unplanned moments. See I plan for the "un-plannable". I've heard it said a million times, if you want to tell God a joke you tell Him your plan. Yeah, my life seems to work that way...and so it went, I fell in love with a soldier.

I mentioned before that I never intended to end up in any way involved in with the military....more than writing letters of support. That was it. I was and will be forever grateful for their sacrifice, but never thought more about it.  When I married my amazing husband, I was scared but even more excited for the life that was ahead of us. I couldn't wait to move and start our adventure. As I've been here, I've been super busy moving us in (we did the DITY--do-it-yourself move which is totally worth it...I should blog about that) and getting us settled in, that it has definitely felt like a full time job.  However, as the dust settles and the boxes are now pretty much all unpacked, my mind wonders to the life I might have led.

You see I was never that girl that wished and waited and felt her life wasn't complete until she was married type of a girl. I was a career type woman and had my heart set on the very top. I do/did theater. I was living in New York and had just gotten a couple of breakthrough roles...when I decided to give it all up to go on an 18 month service mission for my church (mormon.org). I was asked to serve in Paris, France and I loved it. After I was done, I had plans to move back to New York or London. Perhaps even Los Angeles and a couple other places. I had no intention to move back to Utah, but that is what felt right. I believe that is what God wanted from me. I believe He led me to my soul mate. And while being married is more than I ever thought it would be, it's far from the dreams of a broadway star that I had dreamt of from the time I was a little, little girl. Now we're in Alabama. Alabama is NOT New York or Paris or London in case anyone had any question over that.

It's been interesting to me to speak with other army wives (I'm sure other branches are the same...) and hear almost always the same thing. The biggest sacrifice they gave up was their career. Most don't care about the moving or the unknown, they care most about the life they would have led. One girl was an attorney and is trying to work with JAG here on post, but Army law is different. Another was a elementary teacher and had to leave her classroom and her students mid-year. It was heartbreaking for her, because they didn't understand why she had to just up and leave. Another friend of mine is a physical therapist. The list goes on and on. Military life doesn't really leave many options for working spouses. While I truly believe that a woman can give no greater service than the service she gives in her home, most woman--especially in our day and age--need to feel they are more than just a maid,babysitter,cook and such. I know those are stereo-types, but it's how I started to feel after a month or so of it.

I was just speaking with another friend who has also just married into the military family. She said " but you kind of have an idea of what's going on, I'm still stuck." I'm pretty sure we've all felt that way.  I had stopped by another friend of mine's house last week and it was so clean and put together and cute. She moved in the same time we did. Our house still has our pictures leaning against the walls, when they should be hung up. There are still a few boxes that need to be sorted and file draws that need to be organized. In short, I would not want to have company over anytime soon. It was so easy for me to look at her and compare myself. She seems so put together and on top of it.  That's when I start thinking again....what am I doing here....in Alabama...playing housewife....a role I've only ever been good at on the stage. Or I'll see friends of mine on facebook who are performing on Broadway, winning awards, doing National tours, being cast on TV shows and I think....that could have been me.

So the moral of the story goes like this. Life doesn't go as planned. It never will. God knows us and He knows what is best for us. This life is not always about me---it's about the relationships I make with other people and how that brings me closer to Christ. What exactly are my priorities. My answer to my friend who seemed to think I had things figured out was this: " I don't, I'm learning. It's a jump in the deep end kind of learning...you feel like you are drowning before you get some breathing time. And even then, it can still be hard to swim"--not to mention a long ways from shore.

At the end of the day I'm happy. I have my belief in God that assures me I'm where I need to be, doing what I was meant to be doing. I have a wonderful husband who is sincerely wiling to sacrifice his life in defense of what he believes is right. I have my family who loves me no matter if my name is in lights or not.

Hmmm....seems like this IS the life I want to lead.   Guess I'll finish my packing to go to girls camp with the cute young woman at my church.

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Strength of an Army Wife

My husband showed me these awhile back, I think before we got married. They are sweet, cheesy and wonderful. If I were a better writer, I'd write something, maybe I will someday! But truthfully, I am glad that there are other people that can say what I am feeling. I haven't gone through deployment. Yet. However I am not naive in thinking that the "war years" are over. I am so grateful for the amazing, strong woman who have walked the path before me and I hope to learn from them to become who I need to be to support my husband. 

***I have no clue where these came from, he didn't even remember I had them, if you know who to give credit to, let me know!

making sure it's legal.

So after I had written this great post about what I had learned on traditions and culture and whatnot, I realized that I had copied most of what I had written from our handbook. The quiz from my previous post,  I gave credit to the AFTB, but the current post was written in a way that it was hard to give credit where credit was due. In any case, my "traditions and culture" tab/label will be updated very soon.  Keep watching for it.

Traditions and Culture quiz

I really feel this should have been the first lesson they taught to us, but maybe they are thinking we know better since it's already a "level II" class. Well, whatever the case, I was thoroughly enlightened.

At the beginning of class we took a quiz, which I'll include here. If I was more computer savy, then I'd allow you to take the quiz yourself, to see how you did. For now, I'll just include all the answers at the bottom.

*Quiz courtesy of the Army Family Team Building handouts


1. A common ceremony seen in today's military environment is:
    a. Reveille
    b. Promotions
    c. Change of Command
    d. All of the above

2.  "Rendering honors" is one of the number of ceremonial functions that exemplifies the rich history and pageantry of the Army.
    ___True or ___False

3. When retreat is played and you are driving on post, the appropriate civilian behavior is to stop the vehicle and pay respect to the flag silently.
    ___True or ___False

4. The Hail and Farewell event may be:
    a. Staff Call Meeting
    b. Weekend Trip
    c. Lunch, Dinner or Reception

5. Hail and Farewells are typically an all ranks event.
    ___True or ___False

6. A "Coffee" and an FRG gathering are the same thing.
    ___True or ___False

7. Who usually hosts a unit's New Year's Reception?
______________________________________________

8. Formal evens in the Army are generally called:
    a. A Ball
    b. A Formal
    c. A Dining-In
    d. A Dining-Out
    e. All of the above

9. What is the primary difference between a Dining-In and a Dining-Out?
___________________________________________________________

10. Where is the written verbal response to a toast usually found at a formal function?
____________________________________________________________________

11. You must always toast with wine.
    ___True or ___False

12. "R.S.V.P " is written on an invitation when a hostess wants to know what?
________________________________________________________________

13. Thank-you notes should be written within 48 hours of the event or gift.
    ___ True or ___False

14. Children are welcome at all functions in the military.
    ___ True or ___False

15. Name tags are worn on:
    a. the right side
    b. the left side

16. You should always send a thank-you note for a hostess gift.
    ___True or ___False

17. There are only three official types of basic dress terms: Formal, Informal and Casual.
    ___True or ___False

18. In a basic table setting, the bread plate is found:
    a. on the upper right
    b. on the upper left
    c. directly above the dinner plate
    d. on the buffet table

19. The tea is the dressiest of daytime events.
    ___True or ___ False

20. You may address senior people by their first names if:
    a. They introduce themselves by first name
    b. you are about the same age
    c. you are invited to do so
    d. anytime you like, because you are not in the Army.

** 1.d, 2.T, 3.T, 4.c, 5.F, 6.F, 7.Command/General of Post, 8.e, 9.A Dining-Out a spouse or guest are invited, Dining-In is only for the soldiers, 10.On the program, 11.T, 12.If you are coming and how many, 13.T, 14.F, 15.a, 16.F, 17.F-this one is a trick question, 18.b, 19.T, 20.c

I hope you did well, I got about 13 right, even with my extent knowledge of watching army wives I didn't get them all right. Haha. Also, I really think it depends on who you are getting information from. Some of the answers I marked were because I had gotten them from Officer's wives--which is what I am, however the woman teaching the class was an enlisted wife. I think it makes a difference, because there were differencing opinions. However, I'm really new at this, so it probably just all equals out in the end. I'm sure it also makes a difference if you are Active Duty, Nat. Guard or Reserves.  The best advice I could say is just get to know the culture of your post/area/unit or base. If you don't know, ask questions--from what I've heard, it's better to ask, then to do it wrong. (show up in the wrong dress attire, bring your kids when they aren't allowed, don't RSVP, etc).

If you want to see more detailed answers to the questions, see the "Traditions/Culture" tab.

Army Family Team Building and some Army culture.

So I went to my first AFTB (because everything is an acronym here) meeting last night.  I was actually really excited for it, besides the fact that it went from 5:00-8:30pm. I found out about it at the almost FRG meeting we had with Hubby's company commanders the other night. Here you can learn all you need to know to be an Army wife. Ok, so I doubt that is their moto, but it's how I see it, since I know next to nothing. There are three different levels and they teach each level in a group of classes. For example the level II class that I'm taking is June 6, 7, 9 and 13 all from 5:00-8:30pm.  From what I have learned at Ft. Rucker, you can take the classes out of order and if you go through them all, including the instructor training, you can teach. That sounds interesting to me, I think I'd like to make that a goal.

I've listed all the levels and classes you can take at the bottom of the page.

So, funny story about Army Culture. I learned, with some embarrassment, that when the flag is raised or retreated each day there is a song played and all those outside stop and face the flag-if you know where it is- and put your hand over your heart or show respect or whatever. How did I learn this? By watching everyone around me.

I had gotten lost on my way to the class that night, and arrived at building 5700 right at 5:00. I was running through the parking lot, until I realized that EVERYONE around me was standing still. I mean people had gotten out of their cars on the road. It seemed to be a big deal. I felt so stupid. lol. Oh, dear. It felt like one of those moments when you didn't realize someone was giving a prayer and you're still talking at full volume. So I looked around a copied what everyone else did. Oops. Later I found out there was another wife who was watching ME to see what to do. HAHA! Little did she know. What surprised me was that her husband had been in the army for 23 years. I guess there's a first time for everything.

The classes I took last night were, 2.8 Personal Conflict Management, 2.7 Team Dynamics, and 2.2 Personal Time Management, in that order. I thought it was really interesting that they didn't teach them in order. I don't know if they just assign the classes out to different wives and then it's just who can teach what when. I don't understand their method. However, like everything else in the Army, it's a very structured and organized class. They give you this big fat binder with all the worksheets and handouts for the entire "level II" course. The teachers have a very scripted text they are supposed to teach from. Although, both of the teachers that taught last night added in their own personalities to add to the content. It was great.


My Review of the classes so far: Excellent.  The class was very small, 8 woman. Most of us were new to the Army life. The discussions were intelligent and helpful. I had taken some organizational behavior classes in college and found the material a lot the same, so I felt I knew a lot of the information presented, but it was interesting none-the-less. It did seem as if some girl drama could happen very easily, so I guess just keep that in mind if you like to avoid it or get in the middle of it.


List of classes available to take:

Level I:
1.1 Expectations & Impact of the Mission on Family Life
1.2 Military Acronyms and Terms (I feel like I need to take this class 5 times)
1.3 The Chain of Command
1.4 Introduction to Military Customs and Courtesies
1.5 Basic Military Benefits and Entitlements
1.6 Introduction to Military and Civilian Community Resources
1.7 Introduction to Family Readiness Groups (FRG)
1.8 Supporting Your Child's Education
1.9 Introduction to Family Financial Readiness
1.10 Basic Problem Solving

Level II
2.1 Communication
2.2 Personal Time Management
2.3 Stress Management
2.4 Acknowledging Change
2.5 Exploring Personality Traits
2.6 Enhancing Personal Relationships
2.7 Team Dynamics
2.8 Personal Conflict Management
2.9 Creative Problem Solving
2.10 Traditions, Customs, Courtesies & Protocol
2.11 Crisis and Coping
2.12 The Volunteer Experience
2.13 FRG's & The Deployment Cycle
2.14 Intro to Leadership

Level III
3.1 Communication Skills For Leaders
3.2 Understanding Needs
3.3 Leadership Styles
3.4 Building Cohesive Teams
3.5 Managing Group Conflict
3.6 Leader Assisted Problem Solving
3.7 Delegation For Leaders
3.8 Meeting Management
3.9 Coaching and Mentoring
3.10 Family Readiness Group Leadership

And then they also have a bunch of additional training that you can take if you'd like to go further with it:

Instructor Training

Master Training

Core Training

FRG Power Training

Rucker Movie Theater

Date nights are always a good idea. Most girls like the idea of getting dressed up for the evening and going out to do something. For me, this meant I showered, put on a bra and actually put on some make-up. :)

Tonight my hubby took me on a date.  First we stopped by the Allen Heights Club House for their summer pool party for dinner and to enter in for some door prizes. We didn't really have time to cook dinner before the movie started, so we opted for "free food" advertised on the neighborhood newsletter.

We didn't really stay for the "bash", but they had lots of little games for kids. Crafts and carnival type stuff. They also had little handouts, sunscreen, pens and chap-stick--things like that. Of course the pool was open, and that seemed to be the main event (since it was like 800 degrees out).

Hubs and I got a couple dogs and a hamburger, some chips and some capri sun's and that was dinner. We didn't really take the time to meet anyone, but it seemed to be a nice gathering if that was your goal. However, I will say it was geared mostly towards those with families.

Next we went to see a movie on post. We were pretty excited to see if it was a good deal or not. Movies in Utah were getting close to $20 for the two of us to go. In New York, 5 years ago when I lived there, it was about $22 for two people to go to the movies.

On post they have one movie theater and it shows one movie at a time. They change the movie often, sometimes daily. They also change what type of movie they have. For example some of the movies that have played in the past week or so we've been here have been: "Scream 4", "Source Code", "Transformers  3" (I think), and tonight was "Rio".

We got to the movie theater just before it was suppose to start and there was a line out the door. We were nervous at first because we had no clue what to expect. (Does it sell out?) Once we were in line, we realized the cashier is actually at the door (explaining the line out the door) and you pay for your tickets to the person who is taking the tickets, in fact I'm pretty sure there weren't any tickets at all. Cash or Check only. No credit cards.

Good news were the prices:

Adults (which include those 12 years and older): $4.50
Children (4-11): $2.50
Children 3 and under are free.

Hubby and myself: a total of $9.00
He did have to show his Military ID at the door, but I didn't. I am assuming then, that the movies are for guests as well.

Because of the nature of the film, there were a bunch of families there. Why not? It's a great, inexpensive way to take your family out. I didn't find the children distracting from the movie at all, but I think it's funny/cute when kids comment on the movie.

I decided I wanted some chocolate and hubby never argues with chocolate, so we got in the even longer line for the snacks. This was my one complaint of the night. The line took FOREVER! They, also, only have one cashier and she took her sweet time ringing up everyone. However, we were still in our seats by the time the movie actually started (we missed the previews though).

The actual movie theater was nice. Old, but nice. It had a huge screen and it seemed to be one of those theaters where there really isn't a bad seat. We sat on the end on the right hand section. So we were still pretty central, I thought our seats were great.  The seats themselves were actually pretty comfortable, I wasn't expecting that. However, Hubby was disappointed that the armrests didn't move.

The movie "Rio" itself, we thought was OK. There were no spectacular moments, no memorable characters. In fact the movie was over all a solid "C". The music was ok, the storyline had great potential, (so did the music for that matter--who doesn't like salsa?) but the writing just wasn't up to par. I think it was one of those movies that they show all the good moments in the previews. Sad.

We parked on the North side (if I have my directions straight), and we just exited the theater straight into the parking lot. Parking was easy and convenient.

The movie started at 7:00pm (19:00), which was great for us, but might be a little late for children who have early bed-times. That would be up to parents.

My review of the night: Showering was worth it.

Big City-Small Town Girl--Birmingham

I am from Provo, Utah. I grew up there.  Lived in the same house pretty much my entire adolescence. I loved it. I lived in a wonderful bubble. :) My parents, who had lived all sorts of places, raised us to dream big and appreciate lots of different cultures and religions and gave us a sense of adventure.  As soon as I graduated High School, I moved to Rock Springs, Why-O-Ming. And let me tell you, it seems at least twice the size now, than it was when I was there. I like small towns. They are cute and usually have a strong personality. I gained a great appreciation for mother nature while I was there. Wind that could blow you off the sidewalk and extremely cold and long winters. After living in cowboy country, I moved to New York City and from there I lived in Paris for a spell. I can honestly say I like big cities the best.

I am pretty sure Alabama will not have flocks of tourists coming to visit for a night out on the town, but I have found that some of the places I've spent some time have been nice. I'll probably just create a post for each city. If I can figure out how to categorize them, I'll add to them in the future.

Here is are some stats: (curtesy of AAA 2011)

Birmingham
Population: 242,820
"Birmingham's a delight for any travler looking to find that certain "sense of place." It's part big city, part small town, and 100 percent Southern."


Birmingham is by the biggest and most established city that I have been to in Al. It has all the shopping a girl could want.  The Summit was by far some of the best shopping I've seen in one place. They had some of my favorite stores such as: Banana Republic, Anne Taylor, Apple, Talbots, Cache, Aldo, White|Black, Express, Gap, J. Crew, Sephora. plus TONS more.
I usually only shop sales at these places, but I love being able to go there in person, because I haven't been able to grasp the online shopping craze.
Not to mention they have tons of other smaller places/strips/malls. They also have Costco, which is the only in the area is somewhat close to Fort Rucker.

It also has the biggest airport--which is where we found the cheapest tickets to fly home my mommy and sis-in-law who came to help us move (we did the DITY move...a post about that later).
* I will try to keep updates/comparisons on flights and what's the cheapest. most convenient and reliable for flying in and out of Fort Rucker. 


Our trip included the airport, which I found to be pretty easy to navigate and didn't seem too overwhelming (not like JFK or LGA or Paris' main airport.) We were in and out in 20/30 mins--including goodbyes.
Next we stopped by fleet feet because hubby likes the way they measure and exam your feet for running shoes.
Afterwards we were starving and ate at Jim 'n' Nicks as a recommendation from the people at fleet feet. It was extremely hard to find and the sign was even hidden by some trees. When we stopped we weren't sure if it was the right place, but at that point we didn't care, because we were so hungry. I guess good thing it was. Here's what we thought of it.
Hubs got the Pitmaster's Plate with corn on the cob, baked beans, baby back ribs, turkey, brisket, and pulled pork. I got the Rib and Meat combo with corn, mac 'n' cheese, spare ribs and the bbq ck.  We wanted to try as many different things as we could (we took home LOTS of left overs)
We both thought the cornbread they bring is amazing, but the food was half ok and half really good. The ribs were hard to eat and had a lot of cartilage, fat and a little over cooked. The ck was the best meat in my opinion (the waiter's as well). The turkey, brisket and pork were all ok. The BBQ was nothing to brag about. The corn on the cob was fresh and very good, but still average.   The baked beans were probably the best thing there, with the ck a close second.  For us, Texas Roadhouse is much better! It seems as if Logan's roadhouse is similar. I will review that in the future.
After we had food in our tummy we stopped by the Apple store for some maintenance needs.


As you can see I didn't spend a ton of time there, but from what I can see, it's all you've got for big city life. It's about 3 hours away, and hubby would probably need permission to go that far, but is worth the trip if you want a get-away.

Fort Rucker, Al--Welcome to the South

I hate spiders. I hate everything that has to do with them. Actually let me be so much more specific. I am TERRIFIED of them. I wake up with nightmares just by having a conversation about them (I am now jinxing myself).

Fort Rucker is full of bugs. and spiders. and snakes. and alligators. and other things.

favorite quote from the FRG meeting last night "I was walking my dog and ran into a bore hog". I mean, that's fine. Why not?

These are some of the first things I heard when I found out we would be stationed here. Hubby is in flight school, so here we are. I cried our first day here.

because of a spider.

NOT FAIR! I wish I was one of those girls that could deal with anything. You know the ones who pick up snakes like it ain't no thang, my sister-in-law told me she used to have a housekeeper that HUNTED SNAKES!!! I told hubby I wanted that kind of housekeeper, he looked at me and said "we don't need a housekeeper". He missed the point. I'll clean the house, she can kill the spiders. and hunt the snakes

Day 2. Found a snake in our backyard. What the??? Welcome to the South. (enter snake hunting housekeeper please!!)

We have chosen to live on post and I am personally SUCH a fan of it so far. I love having everything so close. It really is like living in a gated community. It also reminds me of when I lived in New York and everything you could ever need/want in your life was in a 4 block radius.

I also love that I have friends (newly made friends) that live down the street or around the corner. (for killing spiders... lol).

But seriously here are some benefits that I found from living on post:

~The house was SPOTLESS. I mean not a spec of dirt anywhere. And they repaint the house for every new tenant.
~The water, power and all utilities were already turned on.
~When things break, they come fix them. Quickly. --Example: our air conditioner broke on the 1st of 2nd night we were here. They fixed it right away).
~They spray for bugs/spiders whatever, EVERY WEEK. Yup. I LOVE that.
~ They cut your grass and trim and prune.
Specific to Allen Heights (other places may have this too, but I don't know)
~They have two great storage units. One in the garage area and one out back. The one in the garage area is finished, with shelves. The one out back is unfinished (it scares me more).
~ They have room for two cars on the driveway.
~ The Club house is nice, the work out room is more than adequate and they have a play area for kids to be in with a big window while the parents work out. The pools is nice, with lap lanes, but it is not at roped off. If you want to swim laps, you might want to go when the pool isn't crowed. (Not sure when that is yet).

Here are some drawbacks to living on post.

~They take your entire housing allowance. Because Fort Rucker has so many Lts in school. It's a rumor that there are more of them than anything else. So we were told we are actually in enlisted housing. IF that's true, we are paying a lot for what we're getting.
~ You can save money by moving off post. We found places to rent between $400-$900. Well with-in our BAH.
~ While the houses are nice, they are very "cookie cutter".  However, they do allow you to paint, bang whatever hole you want in the walls and the like...as long as you patch up any hole you make.
~ All the rules that come with living on post. (And yes, there is a hand book)
~ Our house has someone RIGHT next to us. It's a duplex. However, noise is never an issue.

Well that's all for this post. Leave questions and I'll try to answer them--or at least find out the answer. I had so many when I moved here.

The front of our house

This is the garage storage unit

The backyard storage

New Wife, New Life

I new to the Army life. I never imagined I'd marry a soldier.  Although my parents were civilian contractors with the Army when they were first married, that was long before my time and therefore consider myself to have no pervious ties to anything Army. Except I LOVE this country. 4th of July has always been my favorite holiday. Followed by Thanksgiving. Both celebrating how cool this America is. 


So when I joined the "ranks" of Army Wife, I wanted to know all there was to know. This blog is my journey. I plan to experience all I can at each post/assignment we are at. I plan to write about short cuts I find, the best places to eat, great places to shop and how the post functions as a whole. I am also pretty sure this blog will evolve. It'll start as one thing and a year from now be something completely different. Hopefully I'll be changing too! 


Enjoy!